A time when my decisions weren’t all mine, The days when I always wished upon to change what’s mine, And now when I finally have what’s always been my dream , I’m afraid to take the step and see what’s destined for me , I know this is what I have always wanted But what if I mess up , I can’t find the courage to face them And once more I wish upon to have that time back , A time when my decisions weren’t all mine , I don’t know if my decisions are just right , I don’t know where I’ll end up next time , I just want that time back , A time when my decisions weren’t all mine …
As the exhaustion seduces my body and the tiredness kisses me goodnight . I enter into a dome of eternal peace . A dome that’s made to believe that I can still the person I always wanted to be . Where I can discover myself in it’s true form . That part that’s actually dominant but dormant to the world . Like the writer without an identity . It stays inside bringing new hope and light inside me , giving me strength to move on and stand with confidence . So here I’m free .
I just want this to never end because here I’m just myself not an actress trying to put up a face that pleases the audience . Here I’m not trying hard to fit in this cliché world . Here there is no one to impress but myself . Here all my masks fade away revealing the actual face which is judged criticized and mocked in this mundane world .
But as I lie on the bed still asleep with all the stinging memories and people just fade away . Leaving vacant spaces for me to live another day and try hard to come back with lovely momentous that can be cherished forever .
And at last as I start becoming one with myself this petite bubble of mine begins to disappear as it is time for me to start my voyage of life again . It hurts to leave this all behind and go back , but I’m ready with all the light and confidence to shine and reveal myself . It won’t be the complete me but atlest it’s a beginning . And I know at a point I shall break and shatter into pieces but my soul shall always be there to collect me and put me back together . It will always be my support to stand again . And this brings ample amount of peace to my beaten self that I love …….. I love myself ……
“I’m the one I should love in this world , Shinning me , precious soul of mine , Not so perfect but so beautiful , I’m the one I should love ….” ~Epiphany (Jin BTS )
Once again I hear it, the call… The call of the Sea . The day is bleak and cold . It is where I find comfort for my beaten soul . As I stroll along the shore bare feet , the chilly yet soft sand touches me . With all the freezing water around , I wish for a warm hand to wrap me and forget all my sorrows.
The sound of the roaring sea is soo scary yet a music to me . It makes me wanna explore it more and go along with the flow . See where it wants to take me , an unexplored path or a location without a map . I don’t know where it takes me as I continue my journey , my tears and the pricking pain in my heart are all gone …
As it takes me to a Kingdom unknown . A place where everything is perfect , a world without worries or work . But , is this what I really want ? A world where I do nothing , a world which I can’t change….
This gives me new hope and power to fight my worldly sorrows and live with confidence. Even without a warm hand..
So the call of the Sea has fallen again upon my heart. It is where I regain my strength for a new start.